In our experience, secrets sometimes ignite feelings of betrayal and resentment which encourages estate litigation. With the advance of social media, including Facebook and Twitter, it is increasingly difficult to keep anything secret.Īccording to some schools of thought, secrets may damage the well-being of the entire family because they destroy trust and healthy communication. With the advent of home reality shows such as Jerry Springer, it is clear the current generation shares their secrets much more freely. Victims of this abuse have increasingly come forward, been believed and been validated. A widespread secret was sexual abuse in the home. Many parents now in their sixties have been reunited with biological children given up for adoption as infants. Indeed until relatively recently, pregnant young women were hustled off to homes for unwed mothers. A child born "on the wrong side of the blanket" in Victorian times could shame the entire family. Times have changed and events that were branded with a dreaded stigma a century ago, may hardly raise an eyebrow today. Cohen apparently spent several years researching her book, primarily because secrets proliferated everywhere she looked including the archives, courthouses, memoirs, personal letters, diaries, to court actions. Secrets involving addictions such as substance abuse, eating disorders, gambling or chronic infidelity Secrets involving family enmeshment issues which would include scape-goating individuals, infidelity, cruelty and mental illness Individual secrets primarily harming the individual seeker holder relating to a self perceived shame, usually relating to guilt, anxiety, cultural shame, inferior education or social economic background.ĭeborah Cohen traces family secrets in a book: "Family Secrets: Living With Shame From the Victorians to the Present Day". John Bradshaw in his recent book "Family Secrets "describes four different categories of secrets: Secrets involving criminal activity, the more egregious the crime, the more likely the suppression. A descendent recently came forward to break that secret, now centuries old. Historical secrets are still emerging today-for example, President Jefferson's impregnation of a black servant. Family members may lose their filters with dementia, or simply decide to unburden themselves at last. Some secrets go to the grave, while others are ultimately disclosed. Those kept in the dark may sense something unusual but not be able to put their finger on it. The non-disclosure sometimes takes on an energy of its own. They may involve infidelity, mental illness, sexual orientation, illegitimacy, substance abuse, physical or psychological abuse or any other of the myriad of human potential frailties. Many families have secrets and their nature varies considerably. There are a myriad of reasons why people decide to hide details of a shameful incident, illicit relationship or other personal issue. It is a rare family with no skeletons in their closest. In our practice we have had DNA cases disclosing the existence of long hidden children and recently a case where the deceased made a deathbed confession to his wife and family about his second wife and 12-year-old daughter. Her baptismal certificate had been forged by the village priest to hide her premarital conception. By the time he learned the truth, both had died without ever telling him the truth.Ĭloser to home, a Quebec born friend who was 21 years old, suddenly learned she was actually 23 years old. Contact Trevor Todd | Estate Litigation LawyerĪt age 37, actor Jack Nicholson learned that the person he had known as his life as his sister was actually his mother, and his "mother" was actually his grandmother.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |